Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
