I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
