Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
