look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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