she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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