Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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