weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
