doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
