Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
