Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
