You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Come on in and take your pants off
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