I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
