Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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