well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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