Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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