and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
