i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He kissed a someone with a penis
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
