he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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