So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
