Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
