And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I have feelings that need drinking.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
