you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
