his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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