I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
is it fun? or sober?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
