Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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