so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
