Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Randomize
