I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
