i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
