Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You are the jesus of drinking
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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