I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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