Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
