Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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