Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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