bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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