I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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