this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
