I wish life had little blips of pornography
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
