gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
