you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
