is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
