Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
