I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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