didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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