Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
