i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
