you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
