she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
