The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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