There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
