I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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