I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
