I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
