if i died would you start the facebook group?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
