new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me