Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am." http://tfl.nu/b7uw

Replies (18) Good night (6335) Bad night (718)
Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back http://tfl.nu/90ja

Replies (3) Good night (1870) Bad night (726)
Favorite
(417): View more from Missouri

apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(417): apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me. http://tfl.nu/fe7a

Replies (2) Good night (2515) Bad night (620)
Favorite
(916): View more from California

If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.

(320): View more from Minnesota

Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.

(916): View more from California

It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(916): If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige. (320): Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop. (916): It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area. http://tfl.nu/1pkh

Replies (28) Good night (1637) Bad night (2384)
Favorite
(734): View more from Michigan

Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?

(1-734): View more from Michigan

How did the beer even get there in the first place?

(734): View more from Michigan

That's not what's important right now

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(734): Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina? (1-734): How did the beer even get there in the first place? (734): That's not what's important right now http://tfl.nu/17l2

Replies (30) Good night (3104) Bad night (3968)
Favorite
(763): View more from Minnesota

Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(763): Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg... http://tfl.nu/nasy

Replies (44) Good night (2685) Bad night (6573)
Favorite
(402): View more from Nebraska

He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(402): He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it. http://tfl.nu/81z6

Replies (21) Good night (2802) Bad night (877)
Favorite
(607): View more from New York

He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(607): He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official? http://tfl.nu/vpzn

Replies (6) Good night (1223) Bad night (585)
Favorite
(778): View more from British Columbia

Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(778): Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact. http://tfl.nu/nx0r

Replies (3) Good night (504) Bad night (1096)
Favorite
(845): View more from New York

I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(845): I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it. http://tfl.nu/kwag

Replies (2) Good night (1388) Bad night (450)
Favorite
(972): View more from Texas

I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(972): I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left. http://tfl.nu/3wwg

Replies (1) Good night (779) Bad night (575)
Favorite
(325): View more from Texas

I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours

(325): View more from Texas

Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(325): I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours (325): Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin http://tfl.nu/emaj

Replies (11) Good night (1120) Bad night (352)
Favorite
(651): View more from Minnesota

these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(651): these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck" http://tfl.nu/ykzg

Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (403)
Favorite
(954): View more from Florida

Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(954): Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk http://tfl.nu/mlfk

Replies (3) Good night (361) Bad night (691)
Favorite
(602): View more from Arizona

I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(602): I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this? http://tfl.nu/l650

Replies (4) Good night (746) Bad night (386)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: