oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
