May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
