ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
